Prof Bainbridge mentioned that Geena Davis is going to be starring as a female President of the United States in some sort of TV series next fall, and I pictured to myself a deranged bottle-blonde femme fatale who's prone to ambushing her press critics in the West Wing and snapping their pencil-necks like twigs.

Why yes, The Long Kiss Goodnight *was* on cable yesterday. That has got to be the worst movie I absolutely love. I mean, it's objectively terrible. Renny Harlin's summer-blockbuster incompetence knows few peers - he's right down there with Michael Bay and Ted Demme. In fact, I think I may be doing Demme and Bay a disservice by associating them with Harlin's ham-handed horridity. The movie is particularly peculiar when you realize that it was, essentially, Davis and Harlin's cinematic honeymoon. Harlin took a cute, gangly, girlish actress who made Andie McDowell seem butch by comparison, and dressed her up as a chain-smoking, murderous savage who sleeps with most of the male cast, then either kills or flings them from moving SUVs. It's great!

Shame he had to follow it up with Cutthroat Island, which was just plain bad, and had far too many explosions for a movie set in the seventeenth century. And not in a fun way, either.